Ashley Maier

Grieving for the death of dreams

We all have dreams. Some of us realize them, many of us don’t. And you know what? We who lose our dreams, we who never know the joy of achievement…we grieve. Over ten years ago, a clinical social worker told me I was grieving; grieving, she said, for the life I had hoped to live.…

To dream, to grieve

Forgetting loved ones who have died is, in my experience, the most common fear of those left behind, unspoken, in times of whispers, tears, and vulnerability. I wonder, though, if I can help ease such fears and the pain that so easily comes with them – the dread, the paralysis. You see, I have dreams,…

"You have value because you exist." - Mom

“You have value simply because you exist.”

A few days ago, my mother said something to me that was incredibly powerful in its simplicity: You have value simply because you exist.   At some point, most of us question ourselves, our decisions, our paths, and our progress.  Often, as was the case for me last week, comments and opinions from others lead us to…

34

In my last post about Jonathan, I wondered how I’d handle turning 34.  I talked about how I felt guilty for living past the age he lived.  I expressed fear that I won’t do enough with the extra time I have.  Well, the extra time keeps going – I turned 34 at the end of…

Living Past 33 and a Half

I feel very guilty about living past the age my brother, Jonathan, lived. He was almost 33 and a half years old when the tragedy of his death occurred. I’m now 33 years and 8 months old. I’m not sure how I’ll handle turning 34. You know what else I feel? Fear. What if I’m…