So I’m (surprisingly) semi-watching the Superbowl. After an hour, this is what I’ve learned from the commercials:
Men are at a risk. They are losing their manhood and morphing into women. We need to help them by feeding them beer, Doritos, and soda. We need to help them wear the pants again (Dockers, specifically), teach them how to cleanse themselves, and get them fast cars so they can feel real manhood again.