Thinking of Mom and Jonathan

So Thursday is the anniversary of my brother’s death. I don’t like “anniversary” but how else can I say it? He died 2 years ago as of Thursday. Then the next day is my mom’s birthday. Last year I kept saying “it’s just a day.” But this year my detachment from the construct of time is weaker. I mean COME ON. The day before my mom’s birthday, her son died. Not that it would be any less horrific had it happened on any other day. I just can’t reconcile the memories and grief of the 15th with what is supposed to be the joy and celebration of the 16th. Mom, I hope we can make this a time to celebrate your life, and Jonathan was (and still is) a huge part of it. In celebrating your life, we celebrate his. We celebrate your love and strength. And by “your,” I mean both of you. This week I’m focusing on the love and strength of my mom and my brother. They go hand in hand.

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