I really miss Jonathan.  He was such a great brother.  He was…fun.  He was really fun.  I feel like I should be going to SF to visit him any time now.  Sometimes when I look at his picture, I flinch and look away.  That’s b/c I can’t and don’t want to believe that it’s real, he’s gone.  I know this will take a lot of time to process and I think right now I’m willing it away.  I do have dreams about him…and memories.  I can’t believe he threw a dart in my foot and paid me a penny or something not to tell!  I remember when he got married.  He was so happy and excited!  I remember him showing us around U of I.  I remember the fortune cookie saying that Bryce was going to be a big brother.  I remember countless hours on the phone with him trying to fix my computer.  Gosh, such a great brother.  More than anything, I’ll always remember that he taught me to express love.  He gave that to us all.  And Jonathan, I’m not waiting anymore.  Roy and I are going to Paris in June and that trip is 100% dedicated to you.  Don’t wait.  Well, I’m not waiting.  I want everyone to know how much I love you and that you’ll always be my awesome brother.  You never were, you always are.  I love you.


One thought on “Jonathan

  1. Hi, Ashley. I started following your blog today because I was looking for someone a little like me. I searched for ‘sibling loss’ and there you were. 🙂 Same age too. Sorry for your loss, it really really sucks. ❤

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